Bullying and the Ugly Duckling

The Ugly Duckling, central character of the homonymous fairy tale of the Danish autor, H.C. Andersen, was bullied for being different from the other ducks in the stable, until he simply accepted himself and realized that he had exactly the same value as all the other animals in the stable...until he realized that he was a beautiful swan!

Unfortunately, Bullying is not just a topic of fairy tales with moral lessons or a kind of humor. How many of us have been in the place of the Ugly Duckling, the other animals as bullies or just as bystanders?

But, first, let's talk about what bullying is:

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. It includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

Just a month ago UNESCO, the UN organization for education, science and culture, recognized that Bullying constitutes a concern of global relevance (based on 2019 data).

The LGTB at school being concerned about the Bullying consequences organized a workshop about it, which took place in IES La Rosaleda. The main speaker was the psychologist, Luis Rodriguez, who talked about the consequences and the causes not only from the point of view of the victim but also from the bully´s. 

Moreover in the same framework, a survey, with the participation of students from the four project partners, was conducted. Among the positive results, it is to highlight that the most participants know what Bullying consists of and recognize it as a challenge for the school community. Furthermore, 87% of the participants are not afraid to come to school and feel safe. Likewise, most of them also feel safe on the way home.

According to the survey, social media is the keystone for the quick advance of this complex social phenomenon. Αnonymity online has become a tool to spread misinformation and to harass and hurt other people. In the same vein, hiding behind anonymity, the majority of Bullying episodes occur in the school washrooms. This type of Bullying includes writing offensive comments on the walls or someone's phone number and in worse situations recording a video while someone is using the toilet. 

What does school do in order to prevent and address Bullying? The majority of the students mentioned lack of trust in the school staff. Is that ´´Warning mode ON´´ for the school staff? Yes of course!

The victims can not and they should not handle alone the problem. The bullies also need help! The solution is:

-More awareness campaigns not only for the students but also for the school staff and the parents,

-Keep the lines of communication open and encourage the students to report Bullying,

-Advance social and emotional learning, that involves teaching skills of self-awareness, self-management, social-awareness, responsible decision making, and relationships management. 

We may take under consideration that the bully, probably, is a person who suffers, maybe someone who did not get the social or family acceptance, that she/he needed. There is a lot of different reasons to be a bully. In most of the cases, the bully is treated as a criminal, cause the punishment is the easy solution: you just expel the bully and you are done. As a matter of fact, the bully keeps  the same or worse attitude in her/his new school. Teachers should counsel and rehabilitate such students through social and emotional learning methods.

Last but not least, (as it is the most curious for me): More than the average of the participants says that they have never been a victim of bullying. Likewise the !96%! of the participants says that they have never been bullies. I do not know if we should consider those tightly connected results as just positive data or should we look deeper...for issues of acceptance and recognition? We know more or less the definition of Bullying, but are we able to accept that we have been bullied or bullies?

Let's work on it together and make our school ´´Bullying Free Zone´´.

And for all of us that felt at least one time in our life as the Ugly Duckling did, just bear in mind the last sentences of the fairytale:

- He had been persecuted and despised for his ugliness, and now he heard them say he was the most beautiful of all the birds. Even the elder tree bent down its boughs into the water before him, and the sun shone warm and bright. Then he rustled his feathers, curved his slender neck, and cried joyfully, from the depths of his heart, “I never dreamed of such happiness as this while I was the despised ugly duckling”.-

LEARNING ABOUT MINORITIES

 Lately, we have been carrying out activities that have to do with minorities, being our main objectives , among others, to raise awareness about diversity, encourage tolerance, develop empathy and prevent bullying.

That's the reason why we performed this game: a race in which different roles (catholic woman, upper class homosexual teenager, lesbian black woman etc) are assigned to students who will have to take one, two steps forwards or no steps depending on the different scenarios suggested by the teacher ( getting a job in a bank,  having a flat, having a medical insurance etc..). Who will the first one to reach the finishing line?
 

Interesting to discuss about feelings, expectations and opinions and reflect about what it is like to be part of a minoriy group or community and what that means.

 

 

STOP BULLYING

  Talking about minorities means also to talk about bullying. Although no student is totally safe from suffering this kind of abuse, we have to admit that lgtb students are more likely to suffer it. In fact, this is one of the reasons why this project began.

Many people feel threatened by anything considered different, maybe because it gets us out of our confort zone and makes aus review our most basic ideas. 

However, bullying is not that easy and if we want to fight against it, we have to start understanding how it works.

The psicologist Luis Rodríguez talked to our students about it. Not only from the victim's point of view, but also from the bully, and from the eyewitnesses.

First thing we have to do is to assist the victim; but this is not enough as the bully will continue acting and, sooner or later, will find someone new to abuse. It is necessary to work with this person too, to understand the reasons behind his or her actions, the consequences for the victim and for the bully and also for those who witness and keep silence.

This lecture was quite interesting as it was enriched with details of the psicologist's own experience. But the best was yet to come. Student had time to exchange their point of view and then we learnt something quite important. In their opinion, teachers ourselves, can contribute with our comments to lower our students' steem. Of course, it is not bullying at all; but, somehow, descredit some students or at least they feel they can not count on us if needed.

In this sense, students proposed to carry out workshops where they and the teachers work toguether.

 

So, if we finally want to work it out, it's absolutely essential to work together.

LGBTIQ Posters at FOS Berlin

 In order to raise more awareness es on the way people use their language and how it impacts members of the LGTBIQ cummunity, an advanced English course designed posters and hanged them throughout the school. We wanted to reach as many people as possible, so we decided to use all the languages we speak. In the future we plan to deal more with the topic especially in the junior high-school, where more students still do not realise that what they call a harmless joke hurts numerous persons, who not seldom do not dare say or do anything against it.

 

Extracurricular Activity LGTBIQ+ at FOS Berlin

 In the frame of our LGTB Erasmus Project we have started an extracurricular activity called LGTB WITH MOVIES. As the name suggests, students get together and discuss and analyze movies tackling this topic. Thus, each Wednesday the students and a teacher involved in the project meet for two hours and besides the movie analysis, the approach similar topics and talk about news on the topic, the situation in our schools and ideas for an improved and safer environment for the LGTB community here.

BULLYING QUESTIONNAIRE

WHAT HAS ART MEANT TO YOU? A REVIEW OF THE FILM PHILADELPHIA

 

    Art is not an intellectual but dispensable production, a kind of ornament without which we can live. On the contrary is one of the most important elements of our culture. It expresses our concerns, the way we feel about the world we are living, our ambitions, wishes or hopes. Moreover, art also changes the way we feel. It opens new perspectives, because art shows the same reality we know from a different point of view and, therefore, help us to understand better the reality that surrounds us.

    But art also helps to become aware of the problems that exist in our society. It happend with the film Philadelphia, an Amareican film produced in 1993, directed by Jonathan Demme and starring Tom Hamks and Denzel Washington. It was one of the fiirst films that spoke openly about AIDS, homophobia and discrimination at work.

    VIH was isolated for the first time in 1983, by that time it meant a mortal illness and people panicked. Those who were infected sufferd employment discrimination. Particularly LGTB people, suffered a double discrimination, because of the infection and becuase of being LGTB, as a part of the society considered that it was their sexuual behaviour that was the cuase of the infection. Many awareness campaigns were need to change the situation and make people understand that VIH could be stopped is we all took preventive meassures, to make people see, that we were all safe by doing that, that we were not at risk by working with an infected person. In few words, that the discrimination people suffered was unbeareble and totally absurd. 

In this context, the film Philadelphia came to help. It showed openly that kind of discrimination and introduced  this debate in our society. 

More than 30 years after our students wanted to know what did this film mean to our generation.

CREATING ART

     

    Finally we decided to create our own piece of art!!!!

     Thankfully we have extraordinary students. Spencial reference should be made to Miguel Muñoz Alabarce student in IES La Rosaleda and in the conservatory of music in Málaga. He and the producer Luis Amador Goberna have created the song Free Spirits that talks about freedom and pride and breaking down stereotypes in a very optimistic way.

    We were so completely happy with the result that we decided to record it and Bahia Records was in charge of it. Students and teachers had a great time. 

    Not only the song fits perfectely with the project, but it is really good itself. Here you can check it and see if tou don't end the video singing the chorus.

    THANKS MIGUEL AND THANKS TO ALL THE STUDENTS AND TEACHERS FOR YOUR COMMITMENT!!!!

VISITING THE PICASSO MUSSEUM. BREAKING DOWN STEREOTYPES

      Picasso is considered one of the biggest artist of the 20th century. We all the women he loved and painted. However, because of the technic he used, it's not always easy to recognized these women as we supposed a women should looks like. This is the reason why we have chosen his work to think about gender stereotypes.

    Guided by the history teacher, a group of students visited the Picasso Museum that counts with a big amount of female portrayals. Students were located in front of a Picasso's sister portrait which was supposed to be "realistic". They inmediately identifyed it as a woman because it had red and dick lips, big  breasts, narrow eyebrows...all the elements that a woman is supposed to have. However, this wasn't a realistic work as Picasso's sister wasn't as old and she didn't really look like  the woman of the picture.

Later on, they watched a portrait of Dora Maar, the artist who was Picasso's girlfriend for several years. On this occassion students didn't recognized her as a woman at the first sight, because she wasn't represented as we have been taught. Nevertheless, when the museum instructor talked to them, when she started to ask question and to guide their experience in front of the portrait, students realized that the picture represented very well how Picasso saw his girlfriend, that the picture represented her inner personality much better than the other "realistic" one. In few words, sometimes a "realistic representation" means only a way of representing according the social rules. Our students learnnt that women can look very different, that there is not only a way to look like a woman, and this can be also said about any other person. 

 

    

CLOSURE OF THE FIRST EXCHANGE MEETING

    One of the last events before the farewell was a small tour around the school through historical LGTB personalities: writers, politicians, mathematicians hang on the walls and a brief biography was explained. This activity contributed in a modest way to fill the void in the academic curriculum concerning LGTB personalities. We are pefectly aware that there is still a lot to do, because LGTB students normally lack of references they can identify with, as if the only job for LGTB people were related to art, so we proposed this activity that could be also watched by any other member o person that visited our school.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    Finally, before saying goob-bye we raised the LGTB flag in our school. This flag repressents what we are workin on: Tolerance, respect, diversity. It's also our way to say to the students, teachers or any other member of our community that we are all very welcome. That we don't care who is cis- heterosexual, trans or whatever. Our business is only to educate future citizens to teach self-esteem and respect for others.

PLAYING WHILE LEARNING

     One of the remakable moments of this exchange occured when the students showed the games they had ellaborated and whose common topic was LGTB. Students created different games such as memory games, goose games or even a kind of trivial. The aim of this activity is to spread our knowledge while playing. For example, a memory game cards was made with the different flags and colors that represent the LGTB community.
     We think this kind of game are necessary at school for different reasons: First they contribute to fight against the ignorance, secondly they make visible the contribution of the LGTB community to our society and culture and finally they help to normalize any kind of gender identity or sexual election. Becuase schools normally suffer a kind of contradiction: On the one hand, we say that being lesbian, for example, is absolutely natural and nothing to be ashame of; but on the other hand students only see heterosexual model. Nor their books, neither their games reproduce any other kind of models, even not the language the teacher use, so our children have to grow up without references, feeling thenselves a kind of exception that is silently tolerated.

On the contrary, we do believe that it is more healthy to grow up with model, with references, feeling that their options are included and respected by all the community. Moreover, heterosexual students will grow up being respectful as their schools have shown them with respect any kind of option.

Here there are some examples, many of the games were physically produced, so we can share them with other nearby schools, our games were also digitally uploaded with common licence, so anyone who whish can use them (https://lgtbatschool.blogspot.com/2020/01/gamification.html)

A quiz game:

 

Students are divided into international groups and they are asked different questions about LGTB rights all over the world,such as where same gender marriage is allowed...Then they have to show in the map their option. Those who have more right answers are the winners. 

Here they are our students explaining their games: 

And here they are while playing:

Day Trip to Córdoba

     We wanted to take adventage of this exchange to show our partners a little bit more about our culture. In this sense we chose Córdoba because it represents an example of tolerance, as different cultures (Christian, Jewish and Islamic) lived there peacefully and this mixture contributed to its cultural development.
     Of course, it is a crime to visit this city without getting into la Mezquita. So this was our first stop.

 

But later on we had an appointment with "Personas"  where we joined a workshop on LGTB rights. There, while playing, we learnt about the legal framework all over the world students were able to do any kind of questions or to give and exchange their opinion in a safe enviroment.

Situation regarding LGBT+ community in Romania

LGBT rights in Romania

LGBT Personalities who suffered abuse in Romania

ECRI Report on Romania

Famous People in Romania

MINI-RESEACH COMING OUT DAY

In the beginning there was a march.

·         On October 11, 1987, half a million people participated in the march on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. It was the second such demonstration in the capital of the USA and resulted in the founding of a number of LGBTQ organizations, including the National Latino/a Gay & Lesbian Organization (LLEGÓ) and AT&T’s LGBTQ employee group, LEAGUE. 

·         The momentum continued four months after this march as more than 100 lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer activists from around the country gathered in Warrenton, Va., about 25 miles outside Washington, D.C.

·         Recognizing that the LGBTQ community often reacted defensively to anti-LGBTQ actions, they came up with the idea of a national day to celebrate coming out and chose the anniversary of that second march on Washington to mark it.

·         The originators of the idea were Rob Eichberg, a founder of the personal growth workshop, ‘The Experience’, and Jean O’Leary, then head of National Gay Rights Advocates. From this idea the National Coming Out Day was born.

·         Each year on October 11, National Coming Out Day continues to promote a safe world for LGBTQ individuals to live truthfully and openly.

 “We often run from our own fears. We run away, we ignore them, we hide them in the most impenetrable corners of the soul in the hope that they will disappear with time. We know very well that they do not disappear or evaporate. They gather one by one, all together until you feel that you can no longer, as if they were strangling you with their imprisonment. Then you feel the need to do something.”

“On October 11, the coming out day or leaving the closet is celebrated, as a symbol of the fact that the visibility of LGBT people is important for recognizing equality in rights and freedoms. Coming out is a difficult and emotionally charged step for LGBT youth. On October 11, people share the stories of people who have already taken this step and who, through their examples, show the world that family and friends are the ones who give you strength in the fight against prejudice.”

LOGO created by the Romania students for the contest

MINI-RESEARCH by Romanian Students

MERRY CHRISTMAS & A HAPPY NEW YEAR

from all of us here at “Aurel Lazăr” School!

Merry Christmas…and a Happy New Year! These are words that we will likely hear many times during the holiday season.

·         Historians and linguists can’t pinpoint for sure exactly why we tend to use Merry Christmas. The greeting dates back to at least 1534 in London, when it was written in a letter sent to Henry VIII’s chief minister Thomas Cromwell from bishop John Fisher.

·         Scholars also note the phrase was used in the 16th century English carol “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”.

·         Merry Christmas certainly picked up steam in 1843 with the publication of Charles Dickens’ ‘A Christmas Carol’. That same year the phrase also appeared on the first commercially-sold Christmas card.

·         Despite its prevalence in the United States and its historical underpinnings, Merry Christmas never gained universal support. For example, Clement C. Moore’s ‘The Night Before Christmas’ ends with the words, “A Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night”.

·         Each year, Queen Elizabeth also wishes British citizens a Happy Christmas in her annual broadcast.

·         Happy Christmas tends to be the preferred phrase for a significant minority of Great Britain. It could be the Queen’s influence. A rumour has circulated that Queen Elizabeth prefers happy to merry, because the word merry, to her, carries with it a sense of boisterousness and even intoxication. A linguistic comparison of happy and merry lends support to this theory.

·         Early church leaders in Great Britain may have encouraged Christian followers to be happy rather than engage in merrymaking! In this sense, Happy Christmas is a bit more conservative and reserved than Merry Christmas, which conveys a more emotional, unrestrained celebration.

·         No one knows for sure why Merry Christmas became the more popular greeting in the United States.

·         Some Christians believe it is a more fitting greeting, given the unrestrained and emotional response followers should have to a celebration of the birth of their Savior, Jesus Christ.