Bullying and the Ugly Duckling

The Ugly Duckling, central character of the homonymous fairy tale of the Danish autor, H.C. Andersen, was bullied for being different from the other ducks in the stable, until he simply accepted himself and realized that he had exactly the same value as all the other animals in the stable...until he realized that he was a beautiful swan!

Unfortunately, Bullying is not just a topic of fairy tales with moral lessons or a kind of humor. How many of us have been in the place of the Ugly Duckling, the other animals as bullies or just as bystanders?

But, first, let's talk about what bullying is:

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. It includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

Just a month ago UNESCO, the UN organization for education, science and culture, recognized that Bullying constitutes a concern of global relevance (based on 2019 data).

The LGTB at school being concerned about the Bullying consequences organized a workshop about it, which took place in IES La Rosaleda. The main speaker was the psychologist, Luis Rodriguez, who talked about the consequences and the causes not only from the point of view of the victim but also from the bully´s. 

Moreover in the same framework, a survey, with the participation of students from the four project partners, was conducted. Among the positive results, it is to highlight that the most participants know what Bullying consists of and recognize it as a challenge for the school community. Furthermore, 87% of the participants are not afraid to come to school and feel safe. Likewise, most of them also feel safe on the way home.

According to the survey, social media is the keystone for the quick advance of this complex social phenomenon. Αnonymity online has become a tool to spread misinformation and to harass and hurt other people. In the same vein, hiding behind anonymity, the majority of Bullying episodes occur in the school washrooms. This type of Bullying includes writing offensive comments on the walls or someone's phone number and in worse situations recording a video while someone is using the toilet. 

What does school do in order to prevent and address Bullying? The majority of the students mentioned lack of trust in the school staff. Is that ´´Warning mode ON´´ for the school staff? Yes of course!

The victims can not and they should not handle alone the problem. The bullies also need help! The solution is:

-More awareness campaigns not only for the students but also for the school staff and the parents,

-Keep the lines of communication open and encourage the students to report Bullying,

-Advance social and emotional learning, that involves teaching skills of self-awareness, self-management, social-awareness, responsible decision making, and relationships management. 

We may take under consideration that the bully, probably, is a person who suffers, maybe someone who did not get the social or family acceptance, that she/he needed. There is a lot of different reasons to be a bully. In most of the cases, the bully is treated as a criminal, cause the punishment is the easy solution: you just expel the bully and you are done. As a matter of fact, the bully keeps  the same or worse attitude in her/his new school. Teachers should counsel and rehabilitate such students through social and emotional learning methods.

Last but not least, (as it is the most curious for me): More than the average of the participants says that they have never been a victim of bullying. Likewise the !96%! of the participants says that they have never been bullies. I do not know if we should consider those tightly connected results as just positive data or should we look deeper...for issues of acceptance and recognition? We know more or less the definition of Bullying, but are we able to accept that we have been bullied or bullies?

Let's work on it together and make our school ´´Bullying Free Zone´´.

And for all of us that felt at least one time in our life as the Ugly Duckling did, just bear in mind the last sentences of the fairytale:

- He had been persecuted and despised for his ugliness, and now he heard them say he was the most beautiful of all the birds. Even the elder tree bent down its boughs into the water before him, and the sun shone warm and bright. Then he rustled his feathers, curved his slender neck, and cried joyfully, from the depths of his heart, “I never dreamed of such happiness as this while I was the despised ugly duckling”.-

LEARNING ABOUT MINORITIES

 Lately, we have been carrying out activities that have to do with minorities, being our main objectives , among others, to raise awareness about diversity, encourage tolerance, develop empathy and prevent bullying.

That's the reason why we performed this game: a race in which different roles (catholic woman, upper class homosexual teenager, lesbian black woman etc) are assigned to students who will have to take one, two steps forwards or no steps depending on the different scenarios suggested by the teacher ( getting a job in a bank,  having a flat, having a medical insurance etc..). Who will the first one to reach the finishing line?
 

Interesting to discuss about feelings, expectations and opinions and reflect about what it is like to be part of a minoriy group or community and what that means.

 

 

STOP BULLYING

  Talking about minorities means also to talk about bullying. Although no student is totally safe from suffering this kind of abuse, we have to admit that lgtb students are more likely to suffer it. In fact, this is one of the reasons why this project began.

Many people feel threatened by anything considered different, maybe because it gets us out of our confort zone and makes aus review our most basic ideas. 

However, bullying is not that easy and if we want to fight against it, we have to start understanding how it works.

The psicologist Luis Rodríguez talked to our students about it. Not only from the victim's point of view, but also from the bully, and from the eyewitnesses.

First thing we have to do is to assist the victim; but this is not enough as the bully will continue acting and, sooner or later, will find someone new to abuse. It is necessary to work with this person too, to understand the reasons behind his or her actions, the consequences for the victim and for the bully and also for those who witness and keep silence.

This lecture was quite interesting as it was enriched with details of the psicologist's own experience. But the best was yet to come. Student had time to exchange their point of view and then we learnt something quite important. In their opinion, teachers ourselves, can contribute with our comments to lower our students' steem. Of course, it is not bullying at all; but, somehow, descredit some students or at least they feel they can not count on us if needed.

In this sense, students proposed to carry out workshops where they and the teachers work toguether.

 

So, if we finally want to work it out, it's absolutely essential to work together.